did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
