Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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