I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
