it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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