lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
