If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
