She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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