Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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