dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
