i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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