i permit you to call me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
