That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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