I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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