something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
