help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
