u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As shirtless as possible
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
