I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
