Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
