Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize