I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
