I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
