i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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