Pass out mid-funnel last night.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
