im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
