You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
