whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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