you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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