if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
