I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
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