when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
