Kareoke will never be a sober sport
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
