dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
