okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize