just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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