well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
