I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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