No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
