My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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