am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
