the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
