Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My butt remains clenched, sir.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
