You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
