i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
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The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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