when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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