I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
