I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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