I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
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for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I'm really busy with my period
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