I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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