Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
