so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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