I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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