if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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