So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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