In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
