Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
