he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
