I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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