isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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