new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
being pregnant is like rehab
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
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