I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
