Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize