You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
